As we all know, the world is a pretty big place. There are billions of people on this planet. For all we know, there may be billions of people on another planet. Heck, there could be talking sheep on another planet. The Earth is pretty big, but the universe is a whole heck of a lot bigger, and the human race will probably die off before we manage to explore even half of it.
Most of us will have to be content with Earth for now, though, but that’s not a bad thing; a lot of fun and wacky things happen right here on this planet we call home!
Here are ten pictures that prove almost anything can happen.
1. The Couple and the Actor
In case your vision is poor, the guy on the phone is Sylvester Stallone when he was young.
This couple should immediately make a baby. There is a very good chance they will produce a successful actor; isn’t that every parent’s dream? If your kid can afford to buy you a mansion you can retire in, you have done quite well for yourself.
One of the many reasons I decided to avoid having children is that I just know mine would turn out terrible. If I had two, one would be a drug addict, and the other would become a parent at fifteen. I just know that is what would happen. That is the sort of luck I have. My dog is obnoxious; why wouldn’t my kids turn out obnoxious?
Unfortunately, my desire to never reproduce or be responsible for the upbringing of another human has really impacted my dating life in negative ways. That, however, is a different rant for a different time.
Sylvester Stallone is pretty cool, though. I really liked the “Rocky” movies. I also liked the “Rambo” movies a lot. I did not, however, like the “Rambo” video game for the Nintendo. That was pretty darn awful in my opinion. I also did not realize until very recently that there was a “Rambo” video game for the XBOX. I kind of want to check it out, but it apparently got really bad reviews; why waste the money?
2. The Free Meal
I did not realize people could be this cheap. This is sort of amazing. It is kind of clever in a very mean sort of way, and I doubt it really worked, but it is sort of amazing how cheap people can be.
I think it is important to tip generously. There are people who take it a bit too far, certainly. I have a friend who will tip five dollars on an eight dollar check; it sounds nice, sure, but he is broke and constantly borrows money from his friends. He is tipping servers, essentially, with other people’s money.
That said, it is important to tip servers and bartenders well—at least in the United States. I understand things work differently in other countries, but servers and bartenders in the US definitely rely on tips for a living. If you can’t afford to properly tip, you probably shouldn’t be going out to eat.
3. The Dog Hair
This cute little “dog” was made from hair that came from another dog. There is an animal out there that certainly sheds a lot. A lot of dogs shed, and it can get kind of gross. I had no idea that this sort of thing could happen, though. That’s an impressive amount of hair.
My dog, happily, does not shed. He does, however, make a mess in other ways. For example, he really likes toilet paper. If he can get his paws on toilet paper, he will make a mess like you wouldn’t believe. He also likes to pee on the floor when he is angry. If he is not getting enough attention, he will make a mess, and he’ll stare at you while he does it.
4. The Bedrooms
These are two bedrooms in one home. As you may have noticed, the one on the left has a lot more “stuff” in it. The one on the right is much more austere. Obviously, the child who lives in in the one on the right is less loved by his or her parents.
It is possible, of course, that the child who resides in the room on the right doesn’t like clutter. That’s understandable. People these days just have too much stuff, and half of it is totally unnecessary. If you are like most people, you have forgotten half of the stuff you have purchased; at the time, that purchase seemed totally necessary, but it really wasn’t. It just ends up collecting dust in some drawer somewhere.
People who watch television early in the morning tend to buy a lot of worthless crap. That’s when all the infomercials air in the United States. Unsurprisingly, they’re all for products no one really needs or don’t actually work as advertised.
5. The T-Shirt and the Teams
I find it hard to believe that there are people out there who show up to sporting events and don’t care who wins. Also, unless the players are little kids, who cares if the players are having fun? The players are there, essentially, to make sure that you’re having fun.
I am not a giant sports fan, but I follow a couple of teams pretty closely. In that sense, I have not had the best year. My favorite baseball team really blew it, and it is probably going to stink next year. They probably won’t even make it into the postseason in 2019, which is depressing. It is growing increasingly unlikely that I will ever see them win the World Series—not in this lifetime, anyway.
I like baseball, but I don’t like going to the games very much, and that is partially because I am very cheap. I admit it. Furthermore, the experience of being at the game is only marginally better than watching the game on television. The food and beverages cost a fortune, and parking is always a nightmare. I’d rather just stay home or go to a bar to watch the game.
6. The Arrest
Obviously, that’s not the real Spider-Man. It would be impossible to arrest the real Spider-Man. I can’t imagine that any police officer would even try.
In case you’re unaware, Spider-Man is the mascot of Marvel Comics. He is also one of the coolest superheroes out there. I like him because Peter Parker is basically just a good guy; there is nothing to dislike about him, really. He is also, with the exception of the super powers, sort of normal. He has issues to which most of us can relate. He has money problems. He has relationship issues. Those are things to which many of us can relate.
I really like that person’s Spider-Man costume. I wonder where he got it.
7. The Bag
This is a pretty impressive and unlikely grease stain; it really does look very much like the continents of this planet.
I think I am getting too old to eat greasy food, which is a sad day in one’s life. If you have not gotten there yet, you will. I also can’t eat broccoli, which is depressing because I actually like broccoli. I don’t like it on its own, but it is great on a salad.
My mother has gotten to the point she can no longer eat lettuce, which is really sad. She loves salads.
When I think of salads, I think of the restaurant chain Ruby Tuesday. I go there at least once or twice a month. If you don’t live in the United States, you might be unfamiliar with the brand, but they have a great salad bar. It was kind of crappy there—for several years—but they really stepped up their game recently. If you like a good salad, and I do, you can’t go wrong at Ruby Tuesday. There are hundreds of Ruby Tuesday restaurants in the world, and the company employs roughly 30,000 people.
8. The iPod
What surprises me most about this picture is that people still own iPods. Is it even possible to upload music to those things these days?
I don’t think Apple even makes them anymore. I believe Apple still makes the iPod touch, which is basically just an iPhone without the ability to make phone calls. That sounds great to me, actually; I hate talking to people on the phone, but I think emails are a great way to keep in touch.
I fondly remember the day I got my first iPod, and I actually still have it. I don’t know why I keep it around; I think it is a nostalgia thing. It just worked so well, and it was easy to use. These days, I can’t even figure out half of the things my iPhone is supposed to do, nor do I really want to do so. Do I really need to learn how to use my phone to pay for stuff? I would rather just use my debit card, honestly, or pay with cash.
I know it sounds like I am a bit paranoid, but I really don’t want big companies knowing how I spend my money, which is why I always pay for things in cash if I can. You know the big companies are watching and collecting data. Fortunately, I am not wealthy enough or interesting enough that any company—big or small—cares what I do.
9. The Tree and the Garage
Someone clearly didn’t make very good plans. It is possible, I suppose, that nature proved that anything is possible. I would be impressed by nature if a tree just grew in the middle of the driveway.
Trees, while important to the planet, are a giant pain in the rear. First of all, I dislike the leaves that need to be raked up in the fall. I always get other people to do the raking for me, but that’s beside the point. Personally, I think soggy leaves smell weird.
I like trees, though, in general. I have a neighbor who hates them; she wants less trees in the neighborhood, which is a curiously weird position to take. She’s worried about what the little trees that have been planted will eventually do to her home. I have bad news for her, though; she’s so old that by the time the trees could theoretically do any damage to her house, she’ll have passed away.