Kevin Barrett There is nothing wrong with trying to stay current so that you can relate to those who are a decade or two younger than you. After all, Facebook didn’t even exist twenty years ago. It wasn’t founded until 2004.
A lot of people didn’t even have access to the internet.
There is also nothing wrong with trying to maintain a youthful spirit. That is admirable. Growing old shouldn’t mean abandoning those simple things that make life fun.
However, some people try a little too hard. If you are in your 30s, for example, you shouldn’t be acting like a 16-year-old high school student. To do so is sort of creepy, and you also look ridiculous. It is important to try to relate to them, of course, because they are the future of the planet. However, you should not try to be like them. Sadly, perhaps, your time as a teenager has passed. You just kind of have to accept it and move on with life.
Here are twelve examples of strange or creepy ways adults tried to relate to children and adolescents.
1. Citation Man
As an adult, I really appreciate “Citation Man”. I really enjoyed superheroes as a kid, and I’ll still watch a superhero movie from time to time. I used to collect trading cards about superheroes. I have no idea where they are, sadly, and they are probably worth a small fortune.
If I were still a kid, though, I would find “Citation Man” to be incredibly lame. As an adult, I love the old-school video game controller on his uniform. I doubt most kids even recognize that it is a controller, though, which is a shame.
It looks like a controller for the Super Nintendo, except it is missing a couple of buttons. The Super Nintendo was a great system. Some of the best games ever came out for it. One of my favorites was Final Fantasy VI, which was actually known as Final Fantasy III in the United States in the 1990s. That game was a masterpiece. It had such a brilliant cast of characters, and the music was absolutely fantastic. I have some of the songs from that game on my phone—that is how good the music was.
Decades after I first played it, I still sort of hope they’ll make an actual sequel to that particular game. I would love to find out what happened to those characters I enjoyed so much.
2. The Lodge in Dublin
This advertisement clearly wasn’t written by a Millennial. If it was, it was written by the lamest Millennial who currently exists. Technically, I’m a Millennial, and I certainly wouldn’t stay here based on this advertisement. Someone was clearly trying a little too hard.
Also, what is the deal with hotels and such advertising television sizes? If you are travelling, shouldn’t you be taking in the sights of the place you are visiting? How much time should you really spend watching your “on fleek” television?
The term “on fleek” actually dates back to at least 2003. It basically means “awesome” or “sweet”. I have known of the term for over a decade now; I am proud to say that I have never used it.
3. The Textbook
This is apparently a page from a textbook. I am, perhaps, not as old or out of touch as I thought; I understood exactly what was being expressed. Why would anyone need to be taught all of this? Is this stuff now being taught in schools? Shouldn’t the kids be learning history and science?
Still, the conversation is a sort of silly one. I also don’t understand why people can’t type words like “please” and “late”. Does it really take a lot more effort to type the complete word? Even if the keyboards are small, which they are, it isn’t hard to write an entire word. Nowadays, people use “chatspeak” even when typing on full-sized keyboards.
4. The Recruitment Poster
This is a pretty disturbing recruitment advertisement. Comparing video games to military service isn’t cool. I’m not knocking soldiers here, but there is a big difference between pretending to be one in a game and actually being one.
I do enjoy “The Simpsons” reference, though.
When you’re playing a video game, there’s only a very small chance you will actually die. If you do die, it’ll likely be because you have a heart attack as a result of sitting around on your butt eating junk food instead of exercising and eating health food.
I have mixed feelings about the company GameStop. I have bought a lot of video games there, of course; however, the amount they give you when you trade in a game is extremely low compared to how much they sell that game for. I understand, of course, that the company needs to make a profit, but it does nonetheless seem like you are being ripped off.
The company, which was founded in 1984, is also doing pretty well. It makes over $9 billion in revenue every year, and it employs tens of thousands of people. There are over 7,000 GameStop-operated stores; they can be found in several countries, including the United States, Australia, and Canada.
5. The Doors
The kids love the video game “Fortnite”. It is insanely popular. Still, it seems like the teacher who uses this room is trying just a bit too hard.
I am guessing that the kids who see this sign don’t know of the word fortnight, which refers to a period of two weeks, so they won’t actually get the joke. It is a clever joke, sort of, but the kids won’t get it. They are probably far too busy playing “Fortnite” in class to study their vocabulary.
6. The Ribbon and the Swag
This ribbon, or maybe it is a bookmark, won’t prevent kids from using drugs. In general, crappy little trinkets don’t prevent kids from using.
Honest conversations about how drugs could ruin a good portion of your adult life and ultimately wreak havoc on your internal organs might; even then, though, there is no guarantee. Children and teenagers aren’t exactly known for making the best decisions.
The effort was admirable, but the use of “swag” makes this whole thing incredibly lame.
7. The Iguana
This is another well-intentioned but incredibly lame effort at keeping kids off of drugs.
It has been a long time since I was a child, but I can’t see a talking iguana stopping me from doing something unhealthy and illegal.
Back in the 1980s and 1990s, there were a lot of television shows that tried to stop kids from using drugs using “special episodes”. They were usually the worst episodes of that particular series. The writers weren’t exactly subtle in regard to their preachiness.
8. The Greeting Card
There are a few things wrong with this card. First of all, what is up with the eggplant? Why is that there? I have no idea what that is supposed to represent. I am guessing that was supposed to be funny, but I really don’t get the joke.
More importantly, however, I don’t know anyone under the age of 40 that willingly sends greeting cards anymore, and this card seems designed for people under 40.
I recently got a “thank you” card from a friend who get married, but she is under 40. Fortunately, you can buy “thank you” cards in bulk. Also, I wouldn’t have minded if she didn’t thank me for the gift in such a fashion. She could have just sent me a text. It would have saved her a bit of money.
I have a relative who loves getting cards in the mail, and she likes the funny ones. The really clever cards generally cost at least four dollars—if not more. That doesn’t include postage or the cost of fuel to get to the store to buy the card.
9. The Restaurant That is Trying Too Hard
Subway of Canada is trying a little too hard to be cool, and I don’t know why.
First of all, using the term “bae” in this case was sort of lame. More importantly, however, Subway doesn’t have to try to be cool. For all of its problems over the years, it is still a great place to get a reasonably priced sandwich.
There are well over 40,000 Subway restaurants in the world, and the majority of them are in the United States. However, you can find Subway restaurants in over 100 countries, including the United States, Canada, Brazil, France, the United Kingdom, Australia, Russia, India, South Africa, Japan, and Spain.
The company was founded over 50 years ago, and it is currently headquartered in Connecticut.
10. The Pokémon and the Navy
There are a lot of weird ways to get kids to join the military. Using a very popular Pokémon game is an interesting tactic. Young people do love “Pokémon Go”.
Then again, I know a lot of people over the age of 40 who enjoy playing “Pokémon Go”. It is a surprisingly addictive game.
Still, the natural desire to be a Pokémon master is no reason to make a decision that will change your life forever. While serving in the United States Navy definitely has its perks, you should probably base the decision to serve on something that doesn’t revolve around cartoon animals that fight each other.
The first Pokémon games came out in the late 1990s. There is a good chance that games will continue being made until people stop playing video games—which will probably never happen. There will probably be Pokémon games released in 2218. Considering the way technology is advancing, I can’t imagine what they will be like then.
11. The Fidget Spinner
I will never understand fidget spinners. I know kids who play with them, but I don’t get the appeal.
I certainly don’t understand why the CIA, or the Central Intelligence Agency, would make them. Are they trying to get kids to join up eventually? It was, perhaps, a holiday gift for the children of the agents.
I thought the CIA was one of those jobs that was tough to get. The organization provides information to the President of the United States, as well as the country’s cabinet. You wouldn’t think that it would be hard to get people to apply. It seems like one of those jobs that a lot of people would like to have.
Over 20.000 people work for the CIA; according to recent data, the budget for the organization is around $15 billion.
12. The Sign About Going to College
This sign is actually a lot cooler than many of the ones I have seen. Also, the message is good. Statistics show that kids who go to a college or university tend to do better in life than those who do not. It isn’t for everyone, though, of course; the cost of going to a good university in the United States is ridiculous. I don’t know how people afford it. The thought of graduating and owing over $100,000 is a truly scary thought, but a lot of people do it.
The sign is impressive in its own way. Still, the rhyme is sort of lame. I can’t imagine any kid responding positively to this.
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