Describing parenthood as a challenge is the understatement of the century. Even the best parents—the kind of parents that unselfishly love their children more than anything that ever has or ever will exist—get terribly frustrated at times.
Kids can also be pretty hilarious at times, though, and their creativity definitely deserves acknowledgement. The funny things they say definitely make the parenting experience worthwhile.
Here are fifteen amusing tweets about what it is like to raise a little human.
1. The Kid Who Doesn’t Trust People Who Wear Fanny Packs
If you are 11 years old, there is a lot to be concerned about—like video games, upcoming tests, and pop quizzes in school. People who wear fanny packs should be low on a kid’s list of concerns, but this 11-year-old boy is clearly a bit different than the rest of his peers.
It is hard to say exactly why he is concerned. Most people, when they see a fanny pack, just think “tourist”.
2. The Poem About the Fries
Almost everyone loves French fries, so it is hard to go wrong if you write a poem about French fries. I have definitely read worse poems. The spelling isn’t so great, but the poem definitely has heart.
3. The Observant Little Girl Who Does Not Trust Trees
The daughter in this case is entirely correct—trees are not like us. They probably shouldn’t be trusted, either. They just stand there watching us—and making plans. The kid knows what she is talking about.
4. The Little Girl and the Shadow
In the defense of the two-year-old little girl, shadows are sort of creepy. She is wise not to trust them. The tantrum may have been justified. This kid’s wisdom is no reason to avoid having a child.
5. The Dinosaur In the Hat
What does it mean when a dinosaur is wearing a hat? Is there a courting ritual out there involving the drawing of dinosaurs with which most of us are unfamiliar? If drawing a dinosaur wearing a hat means you like another person, does the drawing have to be of a specific type of dinosaur?
6. The Kid With the Monkey
First of all, if you own a monkey, you should never sell it. Monkeys are great.
Why is the kid in this case asking the question? Does he anticipate owning a monkey in the near future and then selling it for a profit? Admittedly, it isn’t the strangest way to make a living.
7. The Kid With the Broccoli
In the defense of the child, roasted broccoli can and often does taste about as good as hair. It might be good for you, but broccoli is not the tastiest dish on the planet.
8. The Kids and the Ice Cream
The kids apparently learned early in their lives that it is generally better to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission. Good for them. Hopefully, they enjoyed the ice cream.
9. The Jailer
The mother who tweeted this probably didn’t mind having a little “alone time” in the bathroom. That can be hard for a mother to come by.
10. The Three-Year-Old Chef
People put all sorts of weird things on top of their pizza, including sardines, peas, goat cheese, and apples. It was even possible, at one point, to get pizza topped with reindeer. The idea of a candy corn topping does not sound so strange when you really think about it.
11. The Crying Baby On the Plane
I’m assuming the mother in this case was joking, although I wouldn’t be very surprised if she was completely and totally serious. Babies can be cute—and they can even be a lot of fun under the right circumstances—but no one wants to sit next to a baby on a plane.
12. The Baby Model
If you want the perfect picture of your child, you are probably going to have to wait until he or she is in her twenties. Most children really do not enjoy posing for photos.
13. The Awake Child
One of the major downsides of having a child is the fact your sleep will routinely be interrupted for the next decade or two. Small children do, in general, like getting up early. If you are not a morning person, you will not be happy.
When they get older and become teenagers, they will want to sleep late into the morning, but you will be up at late worrying about them.
14. The Kid in the Box
Most parents are familiar with the frustration of buying a child a toy only to learn that he or she is far more interested in playing with the box the toy came in. It gets really frustrating when the toy is one of the more expensive toys on the market.
15. The Child With the Memory
Like elephants, children remember things for a long time; you wouldn’t think that to be the case, but this tweet proves it. Never steal cheese from a child. If you do, you will suffer.
16. Waking up during the night
Most kids don’t realize what is important and what is not, so they tend to wake up their parent over small things. This mother gave a perfect example to her kids what is it to be a parent.