In case you are not aware, Tinder is an online dating app. You swipe right if you like a person, and you swipe in the other direction if you do not. I have heard it is an okay way to meet people; however, I have never seriously used it. I downloaded the app once just to see what it was like. I wasn’t impressed. I fiddled with it for a few days, but I never talked to anyone.
Tinder, in case you are curious, has been around for six years. It is believed that the company is worth well over $1 billion. You can apparently make a lot of money off of lonely people.
When I was growing up, online dating was considered a super lame thing to do. I am too old to date now, so I do not do the online dating thing. I am really not very old, honestly. A friend of mine who is two years older than me did just get married, and another friend who is two years older is having a baby; however, I just “feel” old. The thought of going on a date, frankly, exhausts me. The new television season just started, and I can’t even keep up with that. There are also video games I haven’t finished.
Actually, the friend who just got married used a dating app to meet her husband; she didn’t use Tinder, though. I get the sense, and I could be totally wrong here, that people who use Tinder are looking for relationships that aren’t particularly serious.
Apparently, it is easy to mess up and make yourself look like a jerk on Tinder, which is why I am glad I never seriously used it.
Here are ten examples of Tinder exchanges that went wrong.
1. The Outfit
This person was honest, which I respect. It is also quite the hilarious response.
Who asks this sort of question? I am guessing a lot of Tinder users do, but it is still sort of inappropriate as far as I’m concerned.
It is also a kind of stupid question. Who answers honestly? I somehow doubt people using Tinder are sitting around in their underwear. There is probably a good chance they are sitting on the toilet, honestly, when they are looking at pictures on Tinder. A lot of people use their phones while doing their business, which is why I absolutely refuse to touch another person’s phone unless there is a true emergency. I also don’t use anyone else’s keyboard. The thought of doing so just makes me sort of sick to my stomach.
2. The Mother Situation
I feel very bad for Jordan. I have to wonder if Jordan’s mom didn’t do this intentionally because she is sort of passive aggressive and has an issue of sorts with her son.
Based on my observations over the years, mothers either desperately want their sons to find a nice girl to have “the grandchildren” with or want their sons to end up unmarried and alone so that they will always be the most important woman in their child’s life; there doesn’t seem to be any true middle ground, which is sort of scary. Then again, I might be basing that particular view on fictional relationships from sitcoms I watched growing up.
I do think there are parents out there, though, that think way too highly of their children; if you have a kid, there is a very good chance someone out there is more than good enough for him or her in regard to a life partnership. Your kid probably is not as special as you would like to think.
I don’t think Jordan’s mother actually cares if her son ever finds lasting happiness; she might also be the most clueless person that has ever existed.
Maybe I am weird, but I never had any interest in meeting the parents of the women I dated. I always thought it was kind of an awkward situation. There were a few times when I was taken out to dinner, which was nice in the sense that I didn’t have to pay for dinner, but I honestly would have preferred eating alone.
3. The Story of Margaret
This picture demonstrates why Tinder has the reputation it does. The guy is not wearing a shirt, and the woman is trying a little too hard to show off her cleavage.
I liked Margaret’s response. I imagine the guy has used that line on countless women, and I am sure Margaret knew it. She definitely called him out in this case.
You know what would be a great story for Margaret? Once upon a time, I met the love of my life at the age of twenty and didn’t have to resort to being hit on by creepy weirdos on a silly dating app and lived happily ever after.
This guy was trying a little too hard, I think. In my experience, women don’t like it when you try too hard. They just want to be treated with basic respect.
4. The Cutie Named Natasha
I hate when people you don’t know refer to you using silly little nicknames. I am not the only one, either. For as long as I can remember, my mom has hated it when servers called her “sweetie” or “dearie”. I can’t blame her. I would find that very demeaning. Personally, I hate it when waitresses call me “hun” or “honey”. I would never say anything, of course, but it is sort of obnoxious.
Natasha seems a bit demanding, though. It isn’t always easy to make up jokes; I speak from personal experience. What sort of joke are you supposed to make to a stranger online? You don’t know anything about them, so you don’t know if they are easily offended. A lot of people are easily offended. You definitely don’t want to make a joke about politics or religion; that’s just asking to get blocked.
People find different things funny, too; personally, I like sarcasm. A lot of people, however, don’t find it terribly amusing.
As I have mentioned, I have not really done the “online dating” thing; I never will. However, if I were to try, I would just message her with ten things I like and ask her if she liked any of them. For example, if she liked the “Zelda” games, that would be a good reason to keep talking. If she liked “The Office”, that would be another good reason to keep talking.
If she liked my articles, that would be a great reason to keep talking. Sadly, however, I don’t think there are many nice girls out there who read my stuff and think “hey, I want to meet that guy”. If you know of anybody, though, I have a Facebook profile!
5. Laura and the Guy With the Child
I am really bad at judging ages, but Laura looks way too young to be talking to a guy in his mid-40s. I know age is just a number, but she makes a valid point about starting another family at the age of 44.
It is also, in my opinion, sort of weird that the guy didn’t mention his kid in his online dating profile. Isn’t it kind of a rule that you have to mention your children in your profiles? There are a lot of people who just aren’t interested in dating people with kids. Personally, I think that’s reasonable.
I like kids, but I can’t imagine dating a woman who has them. It just seems like a bit much, and I am a pretty lazy person. My neighbor’s kid thinks I’m really cool and once made me a card—and that was great—but I will never in any way be responsible for putting her through college.
I have mixed feelings about people starting families when they are over the age of forty. I have a friend who is almost 39 and is having his first baby. He is not in the best of shape. His wife isn’t in the best shape either. I wouldn’t be surprised if their kid ended up an orphan at the age of about eight. Fortunately for the kid, they both come from money and have younger siblings.
I couldn’t imagine having a child at my age, and I am not as old as they are. I just don’t have the energy for it. I don’t have the energy for a small, somewhat hyperactive dog.
6. The Wife and the Profile
I am assuming this guy isn’t nearly as naïve as he is coming across. He might just be making a joke. I don’t think people make Tinder profiles just to joke and troll people. That seems like it would be a tremendous waste of time, and most people would rather just be watching Netflix.
The internet has done a lot of great things for humanity, but it has also made it really easy for people to cheat on their spouses. That is not a good thing. Back in the old days, cheating was a lot harder. You had to actually go out to coffee places or bars and have real conversations with people. That is not really the case anymore, it seems. Nowadays, apparently, you can just make stupid comments on Tinder.
For this guy’s sake, as unlikely as it sounds, I hope his wife really was just trying to troll people. Cheating is wrong. If your relationship isn’t working, you should either get counseling or just end it altogether.
7. The Cereal
I like the responses here because the person is being honest. If I happened to be dating someone and she preferred eating cereal to hanging out with me, I would want her to simply tell me that. There is no issue there as far as I am concerned.
As you get older, you realize that there are things you’d rather do than get all “romantic” with someone. For example, in most cases I would prefer to play video games. You can just sit there and barely move, which is nice. You have to move your thumbs, sure, but you can also hit the pause button when you have to pee—and nothing really changes. You can take a few minutes and then go back to the activity and pick up where you left off, which isn’t really the case when it comes to “relations”.
8. The Woman and the Very Confident Man
If the woman has a really good-looking guy, as she claims, why is she on Tinder? Even if she forgot to deactivate her profile, why is she responding to messages?
That said, this guy does sound like a jerk. Personally, I really can’t stand overly confident people. Why can’t everyone just be a neurotic mess like I am? It would certainly make my life easier.
9. The Tall Guy
There is a fine line between being honest about yourself and just making yourself look so bad that no one will date you.
This person kind of crossed the line, it seems, which is a definite shame. He is probably a pretty nice guy. I like that he compared himself to a goblin.
That’s pretty funny stuff right there. I have compared myself to worse things than a goblin.