It is kind of sad to think about people being in the hospital around Christmastime. Sadly, it happens a lot. In fact, a lot of bad things happen around the holidays. People get depressed, and they get sick. It isn’t always the happiest of seasons, unfortunately.
Actually, if you review the statistics, the time period between Christmas and New Year’s Day is pretty much the most dangerous time of the year, which is why I am always glad when January 2nd rolls around. I feel really bad for people born on the 2nd of January, though; nobody is in the mood to celebrate a darn thing on the 2nd of January. Most people just want to sleep the day away.
Hospitals really can be dreary places; I know because I have spent a fair amount of time in one, but I never had to do so at Christmas—yet. Fortunately, medical professionals and hospital workers can be pretty creative people, and a lot of them go the extra mile to cheer up patients and their families.
Here are twenty-two great Christmas decorations by creative medical staff.
1. The Wave On the Wall
I think that anyone who knows anything about medicine—or who has ever had a heart problem or watched a medical show—can appreciate this one. It really is very clever, and it probably took a lot of work.
It probably isn’t terribly comforting if you have just had a heart attack, and a lot of people tend to have heart attacks around the holidays. There are a lot of reasons for that. For one, you have to see your family, and nothing stresses some people out more than family. In my non-expert medical opinion, the best way to survive Christmas is to sit alone in your favorite chair watching silly movies and drinking a nice, calming herbal tea. If you have scented candles, I’d recommend lighting those. Cuddle up under a blanket and you’ll be just fine.
2. The Babies and the Stocking
This might be the cutest thing I have ever seen; in general, I am not a newborn person, but this is great. I would hold one of these babies.
I have a neighbor who cuddles babies. That’s, like, her job now. Technically, it is a volunteer position, but that’s pretty much all she does with her life. She really likes newborn babies, though, and she expects me to be impressed by her “service to the community”. If you are doing something you like, you’re not really sacrificing. You’re just filling your day with an activity you enjoy.
If I were to volunteer to cuddle babies, that would be a sacrifice on my part. Personally, I think most babies look like the cartoon character Elmer Fudd until they’re about two months old, and babies have no concept of hygiene. I once had a newborn sneeze on me. It sneezed right in my face, and I think it had just eaten.
3. The Stocking and the Pack of Blood
This is definitely creative, but I sort of wonder if this one is a fake. I can’t imagine most hospitals and urgent care centers have time for this sort of thing; furthermore, would such a thing even work as well as the normal packs? I have no idea.
That picture looks like a nice meal a vampire would eat on Christmas. That is kind of a fun thought, actually! Can’t you just imagine a bunch of vampires sitting around in the dark drinking from these things through a straw? Myself, I am picturing the vampires from “Buffy”. I could definitely see Spike doing it.
4. The Wreath and the Scissors and the Bottles
This is definitely the most creative wreath I have ever seen. When you thinks about wreaths, you rarely think about scissors, but they definitely work in this case. You barely notice them at first, honestly; they are sort of understated in a good way.
Whoever Becky Roberts is definitely knows to think outside of the box, and I bet a lot of patients were amused by this.
5. The Gloves and the Christmas Tree
You wouldn’t expect anyone to be creative enough to make a pretty nice-looking Christmas tree out of a box of gloves, but apparently there are a lot of creative people out there. There is a lot of talent in hospitals.
The color is a bit off, but what are you going to do? I don’t think they make pine green latex gloves.
6. The Condoms and the Christmas Tree
This one is kind of disturbing, and it is also a waste of perfectly good condoms.
Then again, it is promoting a healthy lifestyle while being quite festive. I just can’t imagine the mind that came up with this sort of thing.
You rarely associate Christmas with chlamydia, and now I can’t stop doing so. It should be a weird holiday.
If you do contract the infection, it is important to get it treated as soon as possible. It can lead to infertility. In men, it can make peeing very painful, and no one wants that. Get tested if you think you might need to do so.
7. The Santa
Considering what they had to work with, they did a good job making this Santa.
If I was a kid and saw this in my living room, though? I would totally freak out. I imagine there are some patients on painkillers who saw this thing while going for a walk and freaked out a little bit.
That said, I always found Santa sort of creepy. I like him in the Coca-Cola advertisements, and those movies starring Tim Allen were sort of funny, but the idea of someone sneaking into my house in the middle of the night creeped me out a little bit when I was a kid.
8. The Tree Made By the Nurses
I like the little angel at the top there. That’s cute. I wonder if that is a picture of a patient or a relative of a hospital worker.
I also like the little bracelets that say “Fall Risk” and “DNR”. That’s kind of dark for a Christmas tree, but also strangely appropriate. People tend to fall during the holidays due to all of the ice on the ground.
9. The Reindeer With the Red Nose
This is creative. Somebody was definitely kind of bored at work. It must have been a slow day in the emergency room, which is always a good thing. In most cases, you want to be busy at work so the time goes faster, but I imagine doctors and nurses in hospitals prefer it when things are slow.
10. Yet Another Reindeer With a Red Nose
People who work in hospitals really seem to love Rudolph. I am not sure why, though. As was pointed out on an episode of “Frasier”, as far as Santa’s reindeer go, he wasn’t one of the original ones!
The song is okay, I guess; don’t think about it too much, though, or it’ll get stuck in your head. That’s what just happened to me, and I am not pleased.
In case you just happen to be curious, Rudolph didn’t “exist” until 1939. He was created by someone named Robert L. May; he worked for a department store known as Montgomery Ward.
I remember the movie about Rudolph was pretty entertaining, although I haven’t watched it in years. A lot of other people have recently, though, and many of them have decided it is somehow offensive due to certain themes. It has actually been called “problematic” because the fictional character was bullied. Some people just have to ruin everything.
11. The Reindeer and the Urine
This amusing little creature is apparently made from a “urine bottle”, which is gross. I did not need to know that.
I don’t really need to associate Santa and reindeer with urine. I am not a big fan of Christmas as it is; I am also not a huge fan of urine. I know there are people that are fans or urine for reasons that I will never comprehend, but I don’t want to think about that at this festive time of year.
12. The Prescription Bottles and the Light
I really like that these bottles advise you to drink alcohol; even my allergy medicine tells me I shouldn’t drink while taking it, which is obnoxious.
I realize that allergy medicine makes you drowsy—as does alcohol—but that warning seems like a bit much. If everyone who took allergy medicine followed that advice, the tavern and restaurant industry would completely collapse. I don’t think I know a single person who doesn’t take allergy medicine.
13. The Skeleton
This skeleton is named Mal Nutrition apparently, and that’s a pretty funny name. Someone enjoys their puns.
It kind of has a Christmas vibe going on, but it isn’t anything I would want to look at during the holidays—especially considering how often people get sick in late December.
Fortunately, I am pretty sure that is a fake skeleton; it would be really creepy if it just happened to be real.
14. The Pee Jars and the Wreath
Once again, I don’t really want to associate urine with Christmas. I do like the pattern to the wreath, and someone talented conceived this idea, but it just seems kind of gross. Whoever made this has a pretty twisted sense of humor.
I would not hang that on my wall, but it probably provides a laugh for people staying in a hospital over the holidays.
15. The DNA and the Ornament
This would make a great gift for the doctor or nurse in your life. They should really be made commercially available. It is a great decoration for a Christmas tree, especially if that tree is made from latex gloves.
I love Christmas trees, but I am not a fan of cutting them down and going through all of the effort required to decorate them. That’s why I have a miniature fake one and leave it decorated all year round. I can just shove it in a closet when I don’t want to look at it.
16. The Urinals and the Wreath
What is it with people who make wreaths out of things into which people pee?
I understand that people who work in hospitals often have to deal with pee. You probably get peed on a lot if you work in a hospital, especially if you are a pediatrician.
When I was a kid and young enough to believe in Santa, I truly did use to wonder how Santa managed to relieve himself while on his sleigh delivering presents. I probably should have wondered how he managed to travel the entire world in one evening, but I was more focused on the mundane aspects of his journey. I was a strange child.
17. Another Tree Made of Condoms
If there are two things that I don’t want to associate Christmas with, they are urine and infections you get from getting intimate; using protection is important, I know, but do I really have to look at this? I know people tend to get a little frisky at the holidays—egg nog does that to people—but do we really need to be reminded that condom use is important in the form of a tree? I don’t think so! That tree probably did not change any lives.
Does anyone else find it kind of disturbing that the sign behind the tree lists “a baby” as one of the 12 infections of Christmas? I definitely don’t want a baby, and I’m really not a fan of babies per se, but calling babies an infection is sort of harsh. Birth control is important, of course, but calling an unplanned baby an infection is a poor choice of words. That’s pretty dark considering the holidays are supposed to be joyful and stuff.
18. The Hematology Christmas Tree
This one sort of makes me sad; if you have to see a hematologist, life could probably be better. If you need a blood transfusion, life could definitely be better. You generally don’t get those things because you are doing well.
If you have to see a hematologist, that probably means needles are involved, and I hate needles. I had to get a flu shot the other day, and it was terrible! The person who gave me the shot was very nice, but it definitely hurt, and I definitely got a mild version of the flu. The whole experience wasn’t as bad as the time I had a spinal fusion, but it is on the list of crappy experiences through which I have had to live.
The little card under the tree is nice, though. I offer my best wishes to those who have to deal with the hematology department.
19. The Tree That Kind of Looks Like a Snowman
I know this is supposed to be a tree, but because of the color and the overall shape, I think it looks more like a snowman. It kind of looks like a snowman who just happened to be a doctor mated with a talking Christmas tree;
Hollywood, you may feel free to steal that idea for an animated feature as long as I am credited as a producer. Email me!
20. Yet Another Strange Tree Made From Gloves
Is making trees out of gloves an enormous trend of which I am unaware? Honestly, if I had to go to the hospital on Christmas and I saw something like this, I would probably just tend to my own wounds and hope for the best. I generally do that anyway. My primary care physician isn’t the best; if I could get ahold of his prescription pad, I would never go to a doctor again!
What’s with the weird face at the top? That’s just creepy.
I don’t like the grin. It looks like it is plotting something devious.
21. The Creepiest Wreath Yet
I think this is the creepiest wreath I have seen. I don’t like the syringes. They are just disturbing on a few different levels, especially considering how close they are to those cute little snowmen. It looks like the one is about to get injected with something.
They are cute snowmen, though. When I was a kid, I always thought it would be fun to build a snowman. I tried a couple of times when I was small, but they never really turned out too well.
I then developed an allergy to the cold—which is a real condition—and wasn’t able to play in the snow until I hit my mid-20s. These days, I’m just too lazy to bother at an attempt that would be—at best—sort of half-hearted. At my age, I would look pretty stupid if I tried. The neighbors already think I am kind of weird.
22. The Office Door
I am not sure I would walk through this door. You just have no idea what is waiting for you on the other side. The whole thing is sort of disturbing on multiple levels, and it is a bit much. Doesn’t the doctor or nurse have better things to do with their time? Aren’t there lives that need to be saved and illnesses that need to be treated?
I would probably just find a new healthcare provider.